Happy Birthday America

America is about to celebrate its 231st birthday tomorrow, I would like to take the time to point out some wonderful things about this great country.

• Our wrestling heroes don't kill their children.
• If we want something in your country, we just come in and smack you around and take it. We don't even need to have other countries watch our backs.
• We have so much food, we feed our pets and set fire to the homeless.
• When Americans run online message boards dedicated to ESPN Page 2 personalities, those boards are fun and not boring. Guess what? Rumsfeld Resigned, you losers.
  
• In America, we even pretend like a colored or a woman has a chance to be President.
• Two words. Bum Fights.

So on this Independence Day, live like our forefathers intended... go pump some $3.25 gas into your Ford Explorer, crank up the AC, roll the 3 blocks to the nearest store while listening to Dire Straits. When you see someone you don't like, roll down the window and make fun of them...heck, throw some garbage at them. Honk at a teen girl if you wish. Cause a "scene".

God Bless Eff'n America.