BostonSucksMyBlog

Joe-Pa-terno

2011-11-10T23:12:00.006-05:00

For decades, Joe Pa has been my hero - lol just kidding.

This whole time, Id been thinking that Joe was an innocent bystander and knew nothing. He wasnt the one getting caught fucking a male child lol. But he knew. And he knew...for a long time. This motherfucker knew about his weirdo child-effing assistant for...decades.

I'm not saying that Pa should have attacked Gerri, but he knew...and everyone knew...and this maniac should have been in jail a long time ago.

Bottom line...We Are....Pedo State U.

Boston Sucks

2008-09-22T21:08:00.007-04:00

Kendra is engaged to who? Hank Freakin Baskett? Nice work Hank, now catch a damn pass.

What would possess a grown ass man to walk into a sporting goods store and say, "Man, I gotta have that Pedroia jersey"? (hint: a gay one)
Westbrook is day to day, thank God. We all know 5 cant do it without him.
Looks like the Mets are doing their best impersonation of themselves.

College Football thoughts: Penn State may be alright. They took it to Temple on Saturday. Penn State could run the Big 10 and be in the mix to have the opportunity to be smoked by USC in January.

I don't gamble much anymore, but I'm eyeing up the Coaches vs. Cancer Classic in November. I'll take Cancer and lay the points.
Its a shame about that plane wreck with the guy from Blink 182 and that homosexual DJ. Its a shame the Red Sox weren't on that plane.
This blog is all part of my get rich slow scheme. And its workin.

Have I ever told you that you are my hero?

2008-06-01T21:25:00.002-04:00

Mike Lieberthal, the wind beneath my wings......

hottest disney b**ches

2008-05-17T20:42:00.002-04:00

my kids watch disney channel for the music........

In order...

10002- raven - put down the donuts fatty.
10001-6 - everybody else, darby from super sleuths to minnie mouse.
5. miley cyrus- you dirty girl. hooking up with jonas brothers and your dad is the best of both worlds
4. ashley tisdale - got a nose job and is probably getting on a co-star from the suite life. zac or cody, which ever is the fatter one.
3. brenda song- hot asian broad.
2. gianna from barney who is on wizards of waverly place- hot latino broad, but not the hottest latino broad.
1. the chick from choo choo soul- all aboard the choo choo train------you know the hip hop conductor is tapping that sh--

PJ - OUT

Derby Preview

2008-05-03T12:46:00.001-04:00

Trifecta: 10, 14, 20

Go horses.

Go Sixers

2008-04-17T22:36:00.002-04:00

Madness

2008-03-19T22:47:00.005-04:00

First Round Upsets:

Temple over MSU

Davidson over Gonzaga

AZ over WVU

Final 4:

Kansas, Tennesee, Stanford, UCLA

National Championship:

Kansas 83 Stanford 72

Favre Era Over

2008-03-04T22:04:00.003-05:00

May you continue to throw game ending interceptions in backyard games. In all seriousness, nice timing by Brett, waiting til lap-dog King left America for the Middle East. Congrats on a fine career.

18-1

2008-02-03T22:07:00.000-05:00

I can't wait to see the Boston jerkoffs spin Belichick's classless display at the end of the game. I guess he couldn't video tape the Giants walk through this week!

Screw New England, I hope the facts come out and I hope their titles are forever tarnished.

Pop those corks Shula you fat SOB!

Ridiculous

2008-01-20T23:10:00.001-05:00

AFC Recap: LT played 3 snaps and went out with a broken vagina. Listed as probable for the game after participating in practice, the puss played up his fake injury and watched from the sideline as his team hung around, but lost to the greatest team in history.

Meanwhile, Antonio Gates played the whole game missing a toe, and Rivers played with a torn knee.

I have said this for 8 straight games, but the Patriots are beatable. It's up to the GGGGGGGG-Men now.

NFC Recap: Wow. Wow. I have no idea how that game was even close. The Pack had 13 first downs and lost time of possession 40-22.

I wonder if Randy Moss watched the game at all and took any notes on how to be a good WR from Burress, who abused Busta Rhymes all game.

Favre was brutal. That wouldn't be a complete shock if he hadn't played pretty well all year.

I guess go Giants. Please beat the cheats.

Weekend Picks

2008-01-18T11:07:00.000-05:00

Britney Spears, pre insanity and train wreck status.

NFL Picks:

GREEN BAY -7
NYG/GREEN BAY under 39.5

San Diego +14
San Diego/NE over 46

NBA:

Sixers/CELTICS under 185

Weekend Jokes

2008-01-11T13:35:00.001-05:00

DO NOT USE THESE PICKS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE:

GREEN BAY -7.5
Jacksonville +13.5
San Diego +9
DALLAS -7.5
DALLAS OVER 46.5

DENVER -4.5 vs Orlando

Ballshots, Curb 2

2008-01-08T12:11:00.000-05:00

Ballshots:

The gambling picks I make on this highly trafficed blog are for entertainment purposes only. They are possibly worse than the Sports Dork

So Matt Leinart is with Kristin Cavallari now. Must be nice. Luckily for him, he doesn't have to worry about being good at Football, since he is a backup.

Alycia Lane is out at Channel 3 in Philly for punching a cop and calling her a dyke. This is a huge loss for Philly. Hopefully Eisen will leak those bikini pics finally.

I believe Roger Clemens didn't take steroids. Vince McMahon told me he is innocent.

Anyone seen the disgusting homeless beards on the Patriots? They do realize that they play in GILLETTE STADIUM. Idiots. Go Jags.

Curb Season 2:

Curb starts out the second season with a guest starring George Costanza in the Car Salesman episode. George whines, Cheryl nags, Larry has no peace. Par for the course. Great episode, followed up with some more classics, such as Thor, Shrimp Incident, Shaq, and The Massage.

My favorite episode from Season 2 is Trick or Treat, with LD claiming a hate crime when “Bald Asshole” is spray painted on his door. Not surprisingly, Cheryl blames Larry for that whole mess. Its amazing he stuck with Cheryl for so long. What a waste of space she is.

The Doll is another classic. In fact, hell, every episode is a classic this season. Curb comes into its own and never looks back. Things we learn: peanut butter is a dairy product, only Larry stops a whack off, do not stick a doll head down your pants, and you cant call a gay man a c*nt. Overall, Season 2 is perfect. Grade: A.

Happy New Queer

2008-01-01T15:12:00.000-05:00

NFL Playoff Predictions (gambling):
Seattle -3.5
Jacksonville -2
Tampa Bay -3
Tennessee +9

College Predictions:
Illinois +14
Georgia -8
Oklahoma -8
VTech -3
Ohio St +4

Donovan's Last Stand

2007-12-27T11:59:00.000-05:00

The end of an era arrives on Sunday at The Linc, as Donovan McNabb plays his final game as an Eagle. The 2nd pick in the 1999 draft, McNabb entered the league and Philadelphia with a ton of pressure. You may not have heard about this, but McNabb was booed at the draft. That's right. He never mentions it though, unless there is a camera or mic in his face.

As much as I cant stand the guy, I cant say his Eagles career has been a total failure. He has had the most success out of any QB in that draft. So what if it was team success, led by the greatest coach in Eagles history, Andy Reid.

His stats are pedestrian. 58% career passing, 170 TDs and 78 ints, with a playoff record of 7-5. He also holds the record for puking in the huddle of a Super Bowl. Good luck to Donnie Mac on his new team. The Eagles will be just fine without him. Andy knows QBs. He has turned some horrendous QBs into serviceable ones (Feeley), average ones into good ones (McNabb), and has-beens into field generals (Garcia). The Kolb era will be a winning one. Even next year, I think.

Ballshots:

Jamie Lynn Spears' baby daddy is really a much older producer on some Nickelodeon show and he can't come forward bc its statutory rape. Hahahahahahahahaha.

The Patriots/Giants game is going to be shown on CBS and NBC so the rest of the country can witness history for themselves; the worst play by play announcer ever.

PICKS: ASU +2.5, BC -4, Wake -1.5, NYG +14.5, HOU-6.5, CLE -10, stl +6

Could you be an NFL head coach?

2007-12-24T10:08:00.000-05:00

Scenario...your team is up 8 points on the road. There is 2:37 left in the 4th quarter. Your opponent is out of timeouts. It is 2nd and 7 on their 7 yard line. A 24 yard FG here seals the game.

Do you

A) call some sort of running play that keeps the clock running, setting up a 3rd down after the 2 minute warning, where you can run more time off the clock and go up 11 with under 2 minutes left?

B) throw a pass, that could be tipped or intercepted? or best case out of the worst case scenarios, incomplete stopping the clock?

If you answered B you could be the head coach of the Eagles!

Catching Up With Boston, Curb Season 1

2007-12-20T16:21:00.000-05:00

Boston, its been awhile. We haven't addressed America's favorite little town in a bit. Let's see what they've been up to in Beantown, shall we? Why, just this week, we have some tasty nuggets to chew on.

Jonathan Paplebon's 'dog' ate the final out baseball from the World Series. Have you heard about this? Yes, apparently his 'dog' 'Boss' ate the baseball. What is more ridiculous, that we are supposed to believe this, or that he named his dog Boss? Is he named after Big Stein? What a jackass.

Not to be overshadowed in the whole Mitchell Report mess, local blowhard/mediocre pitcher/morality policeman Curt Schilling felt the need to weigh in with his feelings on Clemens. He thinks Clemens' stats and awards should be erased from the day in 1997 that he first injected his ass with juice. Funny that the same guy who painted his sock with food coloring constantly weighs in on Steroid issues. I guess that's Schill being Schill, a moron.

The Celtics are now 0-3 against the best competition in the East. No surprise. Not one of the Big 3 has ever won anything. But at least the Garden is revived!! Best homecourt in the NBA!! Frontrunners unite!

The Pats are 14-0 with their eyes set on a perfect season. Too bad they will have to likely beat 2 good teams to even get to the Super Bowl. Don't be surprised if Moss pulls the first ever Eff You Deactivation on himself when they have to play the Jags, Colts, or Chargers.

Curb, Season 1 Review

Unlike Seinfeld, Curb started out pretty strong. The first season had some classic episodes, like Beloved Aunt, Affirmative Action, and Porno Gil. Established right away was Larry's gift to work people's nerves. Right away in episode one, Cheryl's friend accused Larry of getting a boner after she consoles him. LD has never looked back, as just about every character on the show has hated him almost immediately. The groundwork was also laid right away for Cheryl being a nagging, useless, money-grubbing tw*t. She showed her true colors early, in episode 3, Porno Gil, when she complained and yelled the whole time on the way to Gil's party and then sulked the whole time they were there. Been there myself, LD.

Season One introduced many great supporting characters, Jeff and Susie, Ted, Richard Lewis, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, etc. Luckily Wanda did not appear this season, saving us from the wretched Wanda/Cheryl combo that would haunt fans later on.

Overall, I think this season is getting a grade of B+. It was a great first season for any show, as the characters were pretty true to their established form later on in the series. Great season, may be the lowest rated of any season. Stay tuned.

Weekend Picks

2007-12-14T17:38:00.001-05:00

- Chicago +10 at MINN
- Det +10 at SD
- NYJ at NE OVER 44.5
- MIA +3 vs Balt
- Delaware +6.5 vs App St
- Bucks +13.5 at CELTICS

Why Is This Guy Still Here?

2007-12-09T21:36:00.000-05:00

(Brady sharing tales of success and Super Bowl wins)

Enough is enough. This Donovan McNabb charade has gone on long enough. McNabb apologists say that when he sucks (which is all the time), it's because of the play calling. That they throw too much and the defense always knows whats coming. Well, seems to work for Brady and the Patriots. Maroney never runs...they threw 46 times today compared to 8 Maroney runs and one Brady run. So, that argument doesn't work.

Hopefully, there's only 3 games left of this racial rights activist masquerading as a bad NFL QB. So long and good riddance. Bring on Kolb.

Happy Weekend

2007-12-07T17:54:00.000-05:00

BCS Mess and Picks

2007-12-02T11:51:00.001-05:00

West Virginia blew its chance at a National Title shot, losting to Pitt as a 28 point favorite. At home. Its insane. I say give Hawaii a shot at the title. They are the only undefeated team. And...there's only one other team with only one loss, those losers from Columbus.

This year was nuts. But college football rules. There are huge games every week. Not that there is any chance, but everyone wants a playoff. If there was a playoff though, it may take away from the excitement of the regular season. Maybe a Plus-1 would be the best way to go. It would keep the wildly [tm. Bill Simmons] exciting regular season, while sort of crowning a true champion. And it would be monster TV ratings, which the NCAA and networks would presumably enjoy.

NFL Picks:

over 39.5 Sea/PHI
Detroit +4 at MINN
KANSAS CITY +6 vs san diego
INDY -6.5 vs jax
AZ -1 vs cle
CHI +1.5 vs nyg
over 48 NE at balt

So Close

2007-11-26T00:12:00.000-05:00

Foxboro, MA: As a record 24 point underdog to the greatest team in the history of mankind, the little old Eagles almost pulled off the impossible before falling 31-28 to the Pats. One questionable play call, coupled with a terrible throw did the Eagles in.

I can't blame anyone. I'm just happy that McNabb scheduled his annual 'injury' for this week, giving the Eagles life and a chance to pull off the impossible. Let there be no doubt that the Pats woulda steamrolled the Birds with 5 under center.

This happens every time McNabb goes down. The team wakes up, plays better, and wins games. I don't know what is the exact reason, other than they must hate him. I find it curious that AJ Feeley keeps calling him 'Don' in press conferences. "It's Don's team...I am Don's backup." So, 'Don', do us Eagles fans a favor and milk the sh*t out of your latest injury to give us a shot at the playoffs. My only fear is that you got injured too late in the year.

And New England can be beaten, by the way. As long as the opponent isn't a giant p*ssy and just folds, like Buffalo and every other team just about. The Eagles were 5-5 before this game! Christ league, step up.

BallShots:

I think another Viking defender is taking one to the house. Nice game Eli, jerk.

Believe it or not, there was a Ocho Stinko sighting in Cincy Sunday. He is still in the NFL, much to the shock of NFL fans and fantasy owners.

The BCS is a mess again. Looks like Ohio State and West Virginia for the title. If they had a playoff, I think Florida would take it, assuming Tebow plays.

Hollywood Hogan getting divorced, good for him. Whatcha gonna do, ladies, when Hulk and son Nick run a train on you???

All I got is beef with those that violate me, I shall annihilate thee.

Boston Illustrated

2007-11-09T13:38:00.000-05:00

For those keeping score at home, SI has published an absolutely unprecedented 4 cover stories in a row Boston related. And make it 5 of 7 for good measure. I get it it, Boston has had a lot of sports success recently. The Red Sox WS win was a must cover, fine. And one Patriots cover is understandable since they are destroying teams...but 2 Pats covers in 4 weeks? And not to mention the Celtics NBA Preview cover 3 weeks ago. SI, if you knew you were about to publish a Sox WS cover, on top of the Brady cover from the prior week, maybe, just maybe, you should have put a different team on the NBA Preview cover, c*cksuckers. Who's the next cover, Ben Assfleck and Matt Daaaaamon?

I don't know about anyone else, but I only read SI for readers mail and the pop culture grid. The mag sucks, and they are just the latest in a long line of Boston Bandwagon jumpers in America. So, F*ck Off SI. Consider this my cancellation.

Ballshots:

What the hell is going on with The Office? Two bad eps in a row. Its still funny, but the last 2 have been way too unbelievable to be realistic.
Onto Curb. Now that is a show that hasn't lost its fastball. LD and Leon are positively unstoppable. The therapist storyline last week was comedy gold.
Don't worry Eagles fans. 8 more games (or less) of the McNabb era. Then we can move onto becoming the Gold Standard of the NFL yet again.
ARod met with the Sox, big surprise. But don't rule out ARod in South Beach. He purchased Shaq's Miami home for $25 mil. I hear the 'Lins have presented ARod a deal worth upwards of $45 mil. Not annually. Over the 12 years he is looking for. Stay tuned.
Yanks to 'go hard' after Johan Santana, according to SI.com local idiot Jon Heyman. What's next Heyman, is Bill Simmons going to put a column out that gets destroyed by message boards dedicated to him?
College Picks: over 46.5 PSU at Temple, over 45 Ill at OSU, GEORGIA -2 Auburn
NFL Picks: Den +3 @ KC, Cle +9.5 @ PITT, Phi +3 @WASH, OAK +3.5 vs Chi, SanFran +10 @ SEA

NBA Preview

2007-10-31T13:56:00.000-04:00

F the Cs. Go league.

Thanks Beasley

2007-10-25T22:07:00.000-04:00

Appreciated the Shout-Out

F Boston

2007-10-25T17:18:00.000-04:00

GO ROCKIES!

Its On You, Dice

2007-10-21T18:32:00.000-04:00

Well, it all comes down to this. After the absurd contract you got from the morons in Boston, after the insane undeserved hype, and after dealing with this great blog questioning your every move, including your sexuality, it's time to put up or shut up. Dice-Gay can put everything in his rear view with one, just ONE, dominant start in a game that matters. If he shuts down the Indians tonight to lead the Sux to the World Series, Boston fans, real and phony, will claim that he is the greatest Jap import in the history of the United States.

I don't know who is sh*tting their pants more, Theo, The Gaytion, or Dice Gay himself. I say its a three way tie. Remember the "Bloody Sock Game"? You aint seen nothing yet. They may rename this baby "The Dookie Game" when Dice leaves skid marks on his way off the mound after an inning and a third to a chorus of boos.

But Boston, this is why you got this guy. This is why you were bidding against yourselves when you overpaid for a gyro ball that seemingly every MLB player can tee off on.

One thing is certain, if Boston wins, this will be the "greatest comeback from 3-1 down in the history of the LCS". No doubt about that. Good luck Gay.

Ballshots:

The Sox are bringing out all the stops for tonight's epic Game 7, with current BALTIMORE ORIOLE Kevin Millahhhh throwing out the first pitch. What a weird team and fan-base that they would do this. And why would Millar agree to it?

Saw a pickup truck today in Philly with a Flyers flag, 2 Eagles stickers, and a giant Red Sox sticker. Loser.

Paul Byrd spent $25K on HGH. I think Boston planted the story as an excuse for not being able to hit an 81 mph heater.

I love how Belichick gave another Eff You performance today to the league, inserting Brady late, after he had already taken a series off, to toss a sixth TD pass. Eff You League!

Leon and Larry are an unstoppable force on Curb this season.

Andy is killing it on The Office this season, as always.

If I got to choose a coast, I got to choose the east. I live out there so don't go there. But that don't mean a n*gga cant rest in the west, see some nice bre*sts in the west.

1 more game

2007-10-17T21:00:00.001-04:00

The whining and the excuses has already begun. Remember when Peter King and Bill Simmons handed Dice-K the Cy Young Award in March? Yeah, me too.

C'mon Tribe!

And The MVP Goes To...

2007-09-28T19:53:00.000-04:00

.234, 0, 1. Those are not your typical MVP type numbers, however this is not your typical year. You see, the Phillies are about to make the playoffs for the first time in like 30 years. Actually, its 14 years. The last time they made it was 1993. I mean, its ridiculous how long its been. Most Philadelphia sports fans gave up on baseball in that time and turned all their loyalty to the Eagles.

But over the past week, Phillies fever has taken over the city. Now that we see that we still have a team, and they may actually play a meaningful game in damn near a generation, the city has remembered what its like to actually have a team. We have become so accustomed to watching other dorky cities get excited about post season baseball. Cities like St. Louis, and you know...BOSTON. (Scrappy little Boston - F*CK them, but I digress).

Ok, onto the point of the column, the NL MVP. Since making the playoffs is considered in the vote for MVP, someone responsible for a team in the playoffs needs to be looked at. Of the NL teams in the playoffs, you have guys like Prince Fielder, Jimmy Rollins, Ryan Howard, Matt Holliday, etc. all in contention. All worthy choices, however my selection is a bit different than most voters. My vote is going to an LA Dodger, MIKE LIEBERTHAL. Not one single player, manager, GM, or fan-base is more responsible for a team in the playoffs than this little f*cking bitch. As predicted by yours truly before the season, the Phillies would make the playoffs this year based on one thing, this f*ggot's disappearance.

Unfortunately for Philies fans, this jackass spent 13 losing seasons here, with not one playoff appearance to show for it. And while this may not be the least bit surprising for anyone that's watched this homo catch one inning, it has still been dis-heartening. He personally killed baseball for an entire generation in a major city. It wasn't entirely due to his lack of talent. Most of the reason was his lack of preparation and effort, and complete indifference to winning and losing. In his own immortal words, "Whatever."

So, with all that said, no one is more deserving than Mike Lieberthal for MVP this year. So F*ck YOU Lieberthal (again), but congratulations on your MVP. It's well deserved, you f*cking c*cksucker.

Are You F*cking Kidding Me?

2007-09-09T17:48:00.000-04:00

Where is Reno Mahe when you need him? Nice play out of the jokes the Eagles had as punt returners today. Greg Lewis, you almost single handedly cost me money today with your asinine play. First you muff a punt that's recovered for a TD by the high school level Green Bay Packers. If that wasn't enough, you tried to muff a second punt later on. You are so dumb that legendary Eagles radio voice Merrill Reese called you out for for being an idiot. You know you suck when the local announcer rips you live on air.

But G-Lew, if you thought you had the market cornered on retarded plays, you were sorely mistaken. JR Reid kept a close eye on you all game and would not be outdone. He decided that the game was a little too close for comfort late in the 4th quarter, so he took it upon himself to muff yet another punt, leading to the game winning Packers field goal. Nice work out of both guys.

All that said, if the Eagles had decided to start a QB who could complete more than 15 of 33 passes, mixing in a little touch and accuracy, they would've won easily. What a jagoff McNabb is. Most overrated QB in the history of the NFL. They would have won going away with Kolb or Garcia (now in TB). I would start Kolb next week if I am Andy. Its the only shot they have at the playoffs at this point.

Ballshots:

It was another Virginia Tech bloodbath this weekend, as they fall to offensively challenged LSU 48-7. 48-7! VT was ranked 9! Terrible.
As predicted on this very blog by David J, the Bulls of South Florida most certainly are on parade. They won at Auburn. Look for them to run the Big East table.
Michigan's season keeps rolling along. Another home loss embarrassment. I now think that App State isn't even that good. Michigan is just brutal.
There was no shortage of homosexual Boston hats up in Happy Valley this weekend. Bandwagon Nation is still very powerful. And gay.
Curb kicks off Season 6 tonight. Thank god.
Federer is in the US Open final. Oh, wait, no one cares.
Looks like the Phillies are pretty close to the WC lead. I don't feel like doing the math, but it looks close.
Forget Tony Danza, I'm the boss.

MEDIA BIAS

2007-09-06T21:58:00.001-04:00

There's one thing I hate, and that's the media. Some cases in point.

Rick Ankiel is a fantastic story, coming back from the dead, to help lead the Cardinals back into the race. We heard all about Cancer Boy Jon Lester until we were blue in the face. Why not a little love for Rick Ankiel?

Appalachian State (spelling?) SHOCKS #5 Michigan in Michigan. ESPN's lead story on the website? Red Sox Nation Bucholz No-Hitter. Who cares. Sickening again.

Why is the NFL so desperate to shove Reggie Bush down our throats? He's like the 4th best player on his own offense. Yet he's on every friggin advertisement.

Peter King.

Keith Olbermann is right now boring me at halftime of the Colts-Saints game. So does Tiki Barber. You know who doesn't? Bitter Chris Collinsworth.

I am officially off the Eagles bandwagon. Can't stop the run. Every game should be an adventure.

I'm out, like BSMB and Larry Craig.

Shocker!

2007-08-30T20:01:00.001-04:00

Phils sweep the Mets! Again! 2 back. You gotta believe!
Sox swept by the Bombers. Of course. Losers. Gaytion is trembling.
The WWE suspended 10 current wrestlers for failing drug tests. Isn't it a little late for that?
Speaking of, if anyone needs any prescription drugs, hydrocodone, amphetamines, whatever, just ask Britt Reid. He can hook you up with a pill crusher too.
It wont matter for the Eagles though, Big Red's tremendous coaching wont take a hit. They are in good shape.
Owen Wilson tried to kill himself. Dude, its not that bad. At least Britney Spears isn't your mom.
Simmons and King are still geeks.
Fantasy Football Season has arrived. Let me just say that I wouldn't be upset if LT has another record breaking season.
Random thought: A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Summer Shots

2007-08-21T20:45:00.003-04:00

RIP Jeremiah Trotter's Eagles career. Sucks to see the Axe Man go, but I'm sure if Andy made the call, it's the right one.

RIP Eddie Griffin. The investigators aren't sure if he was drunk, but they did indicate that the steering wheel was quite sticky.

RIP Michael Vick's NFL career. Watch your culo in the pen, Mike, or, Ron Mexico, or Ookie.

RIP Larry Johnson's holdout. Good thing too, I had moved him down past Edgerrin James for fantasy.

RIP Red Sox playoff hopes. Yanks are 5 back. Sox have no chance to hang on. Pathetic. It wont stop local buffoon Peter King from mentioning them 5 times every Monday in his NFL FOOTBALL column.

RIP Eli Manning's leadership. So says Tiki Barber. Eli fired back saying Tiki was a distraction to the team and a bad leader, himself. Two homos, I say. Get a room.

RIP to my internet surfing at work. It sucks.

Theres a rumor that Tom Brady may marry Gisele. I'm sure that if the Feds were to tap their phone conversations, they wouldn't confuse them for Mensa meetings.

Does Simmons write anymore? Or is he pretty set on doing his nasally podcasts?

Random thought: I wish I could play little league now, I'd kick some f*ckin ass.

An Historic Collapse?

2007-08-12T19:36:00.001-04:00

Newly Acquired Eric Gagne blows the game for America's team, Nation in mourning.

Yankees 4 Gb.

At this point, if you are a Red Sox fan, I think you should just forget about the division and hope you can win the wild card.

In other news

McNabb to sit out preseason opener Monday night.
Vince Young suspended 1 game for team rule violation.
PacMan Fever running wild in TNA Wrestling.
Phillies continue to hover around .500. Just like every other year. Maybe our fat 1B can beat out Milwaukee's fat 1B for the HR Crown.
Diapers stink.
BSMB's new job my prevent him from posting his ill-informed, illogical nonsense on a daily basis. America just got a little bit smarter.

America's City

2007-08-03T10:28:00.001-04:00

This blog was founded with the idea of attacking the constant stream of poser Boston fans that have miraculously popped up across the country in recent years. So with that in mind, let’s get this baby back on track, back to its roots of some good ole fashioned Boston hating.

It is August, 2007, nearly 3 years after Bandwagon Nation exploded into the nauseating phenomenon that it is today. One would think that America’s fervor over this plucky little underdog city may have died down after three years. But that is not the case.

Here we sit today, and as far as the eye can see, I STILL see Sox gear all over my beloved Philadelphia. For every Phillies cap I see, I’d estimate about 3 or 4 Red Sox hats. Seriously. I mean, get a life posers.

If it isn’t bad enough that sports fans all over the country trip over each other in their support of the Sox (even though their cities most likely have ‘pro’ teams), now players in all sports are taking discounts or making personal sacrifices to play in Boston.

Randy Moss. The Patriots give up all of a 4th round pick for one of the most explosive wide receivers in NFL history. If that isn’t lame enough, Moss takes a massive pay cut. He gave up a combined $21 million over the next 2 years in favor of…get this…a 1 year deal for $3 million, plus a possible $2 million in incentives. Just to play with Brady and for Belichick. "Having a chance to play with an organization [like the Patriots] with the coaching staff, with Mr. Kraft as the owner, and the players they have in position, I didn't think that money was a big factor to me," Moss said. Puke.

Donte Stallworth. He took less money from New England, over the Eagles (his team) and Miami. Agent Drew Rosenhaus said that since Stallworth was ultimately signing for one year, he chose the Patriots because of Tom Brady's presence. Yack.

Curt Schilling. He claimed that the Yankees and Phillies were his top 2 choices for the 2004 season. Yet, after Jimmy Page wanna-be Theo Epstein badgered Schilling during his family’s Thanksgiving Dinner in November 2003, Schilling somehow decided that he would ‘tolerate’ the Boston fans to try to cement his place in MLB lore. Bloody Sock, Greatest Comeback in sports history, World Series win, Congressional Steroid hearing… the rest is history.

Kevin Garnett. A month ago, he said no way to playing in the “that Racist city.” His agent added, "The Boston trade isn't happening. If a trade were to happen, that's not a destination that we're interested in pursuing." Now? Garnett is in town and they are title contenders.

Now, I know that Celtics fans have been suffering since 1986. They only have 16 championships in team history, by far the most in the history of the league. I cannot help but think that maybe, just maybe, a few Celtics fans have felt at least a few ounces of joy over the years with the three Super Bowl wins, not to mention a World Series Victory in 2004. And the Series win was really just an afterthought anyway, as it followed the greatest comeback in the history of mankind. Human Standing Ovation!

Today, the Sox have an 8 game lead in the AL East and appear to be cruising to World Series victory number SEVEN, their 2nd in 4 years. The Patriots are the hands-down favorite to win the Super Bowl. Again. And the Celtics are the clear cut favorite to make it to the NBA Finals, and possibly win the title.

And America could not be happier.

Thursday Tidbits

2007-08-02T14:13:00.001-04:00

Random tidbits on a Thursday afternoon to get you through the day

Nothing makes your day more when you start Clemens in your fantasy league, he gets torched for 8 runs, but only 3 earned.
Anyone see ESPN.com's list of the 50 NFL players going to the HOF? Nice to see Adrian Peterson and Calvin Johnson on the list, and Donovan McNabb and Steve McNair not on the list. Solid work out of the four letter.
Diaper Genies don't work. They smell exactly like you think they would, if you like leaving dirty diapers around for 4 days in your house.
Is Hayden Panettiere 18 yet?
The Phillies bullpen with Myers and Mateo can't wait for ladies night at Citizens Bank Park. Don't forget, Joe Table has an assault in his past too. I'm just waiting for Alfonseca to be accused of doing something naughty with his 6th finger.
The Celtics got Garnett. They are relevant again. I'm glad to see this. Boston fans have been suffering since 1986. Such bad luck, moving to a new arena, having some 90+ year old owner die.
This just in, the Phillies just put in a waiver claim on Chris Benoit to pitch long relief.
Eagles in Lehigh. Nice to see McNabb back behind a microphone again, lending his support to Michael Vick. We get it McNabb. You really want to fit in with your people.
Phillies lose Victorino and Michael Bourn in the same game, after losing Utley. Looks like this year we will finish 2 games out of the wild card instead of 1.
RedSox get Eric Gagne, because only two teams matter.
If black people ever want to take over this country, they just need to get JK Rowling to keep writing books. That cute little wizard just distracts the honkeys.

The Simpsons Movie

2007-07-27T12:21:00.001-04:00

blog post by MikeD!

Racism, Government Conspiracy, Religion Bashing, Gay Bashing, Kiddie Porn (ok, maybe not kiddie porn - that may be pushing it), Murder. The Simpsons Movie. After 20 years and 400 half hour episodes, the Simpsons finally make the leap into a full length feature - and they do it surprisingly well. Being a fan since the Tracey Ullman days (everybody says it, but I was f*cking there, man), I was a bit worried about what the writers and creators were going to do with simple basics, like story-line. What haven't they done on the show that would live up to so many years of built up expectations that the public would have for a movie? In my most honest opinion, they didn't really come up with anything new - but they did create something that was truly funny from beginning to end.

The animation was vibrant and refreshing, considering no other studio is actually doing full length cartoon movies anymore. The entire thing was shot in the animated 3-D settings that Groening fans would recognize from the Futurama series. While viewers should take the moment to be in awe to see all of their favorite characters in this visual format, most of the jaw-dropping going on that I noticed from the audience and myself was at the comedic level that the Simpson writers brought the jokes up to for the movie. They proved that they were able to step up and deliver in a world that has become accustomed to the shock humor of other animated franchises, like Family Dad (I like Seth McFarland - but they are basically the same show) and South Park. The Simpsons crew not only made us laugh - they were able to do it with a sophisticated yet more risky approach than we have seen on Sunday nights overall.

For the real fans - the big screen allowed for Fox to give us massive scenes with so many characters in one shot that it guarantees the box office will be flooded with repeat viewers over the next month at least. I was thrilled to see characters brought back from favorite episodes, like Chester Lampwick, who along with so many others were only visible for mere seconds during a mob riot scene that the Simpsons writers seem to love.

Most notable about the movie is that the writers were actually able to keep the attention on the core family, and kept it interesting throughout. Of course, there were the side stories for each family member - however, I was happy to see that they gave the audience what they wanted - more of Homer and a pig - less of Lisa and whatever the hell she had going on. I do think that they did miss a mark or two and could have used some secondary characters more. There was definite potential for Groundskeeper Willie to build up his library of classic quotes - but they didn't take the opportunity. Chief Wiggum, however, stole a scene or two and Martin Prince had his nerd-day-in-the-sun that got a nice round of applause from the audience. And oh yeah - Maggie talks again (not really a spoiler, believe me).

So - all and all - go and enjoy the latest story to touch the lives of all of our friends in Springfield. The fans of the show finally have their movie, I think that it was worth the wait and look forward to getting a bootleg DVD as soon as I can.

Penn State 2007 Preview

2007-07-25T11:25:00.001-04:00

Blog post by PSU alum davidj52376

Penn State 2007 Preview

2007 could be a special year for the Nittany Lions. The team returns 15 starters from a squad that went 9-4 last season with losses to some of the better teams in the nation. The schedule, while not easy, has 3 of the 4 toughest games at home (Notre Dame, Wisconsin, Ohio State) with Michigan on the road. Home field has meant something to the Lions recently-Penn State has lost only one game at Beaver stadium in the last two seasons.

Offense:

Fans are hoping that QB Anthony Morelli will take a leap forward this year now that he has a year of experience under his belt. He certainly has some weapons to work with. At wideout look for sophomore Chris Bell to push juniors Williams, Butler and Norwood for playing time. Also look for the continued emergence of sophomore Andrew Quarless at tight end. Austin Scott replaces Tony Hunt at tailback and if he lives up to his potential don’t expect a drop off in production from the running game. The O-Line must replace the departed Levi Brown but the unit (baring injuries) should perform better than last season.

Defense:

The Lions have been very stingy on defense the last 3 years ranking towards the top of the country in a number of key defensive categories- look for that to continue this season. The D-line is inexperienced but talented. If that unit can gel early the Lions will be downright nasty on D. The linebackers will be led by All American Dan Connor who is on pace to break the all time tackles mark at the University set last season by Paul Posluzsny. Justin King came into his own last season and emerged as a true shut down corner. The Lions will move Tony Davis from corner to safety to make way for sophomore A.J. Wallace who should be lights out by the end of the season. The only question mark for the secondary is the status of all Big Ten safety Anthony Scirrotto which is in question due to off the field legal issues.

Schedule:

The Lions start the season by hosting two of the worst teams in Division I (Florida International, Buffalo) with a visit from Notre Dame sandwiched in between. Fans are excited for the clash with the Irish, but it is a mere bump in the road towards the show down with the Wolverines in Ann Arbor on Sept 22nd. The Lions title hopes (BCS, Big Ten) could come down to this clash. After a trip to Illinois the Lions host the Hawkeyes and the Badgers in consecutive weeks. At lot of folks think Wisconsin can win the conference. Don’t believe the hype. After the Lions travel to Indiana (0-10 versus PSU) they host Ohio State in a prime time contest. Look for the Lions to avenge last years hard fought loss in Columbus. November shouldn’t do much to test the Lions. They host Purdue (who managed 0 points against the Lions at home last year), travel to Temple (this serves as a bye week) and finish out the season in East Lansing. The Lions have the fortune of meeting Michigan State in the last week of the season which means the Spartans are in full self destruct mode by this point.

Prediction:

Anything less than a 10-2 regular season would be a disappointment for the Nittany Lions. I’m going to drink some blue kool aid and say Penn State goes 11-1 with a loss to whom else but Michigan.

Bonus Big East Preview

Bulls on Parade. Look for South Florida to be this years Rutgers. In other words the team will win a few games, qualify for a bowl and the fan base will act like they found a cure for cancer. If West Virginia doesn’t win the conference there is something wrong in Morgantown.

Who's that sneaking up on you?

2007-07-19T08:59:00.000-04:00

2007 American League Standings (May 29th)
EAST	W	L	PCT	GB	HOME	ROAD	RS	RA	STRK	L10
Boston	36	15	.706	-	18-7	18-8	276	193	Won 5	7-3
Baltimore	25	27	.481	11.5	15-11	10-16	234	227	Won 4	6-4
Toronto	24	27	.471	12	14-11	10-16	232	235	Won 2	6-4
NY Yankees	21	29	.420	14.5	12-13	9-16	258	239	Lost 5	3-7
Tampa Bay	21	29	.420	14.5	13-15	8-14	232	308	Lost 1	3-7

2007 American League Standings (July 19th)
EAST	W	L	PCT	GB	HOME	ROAD	RS	RA	STRK	L10
Boston	56	38	.596	-	31-18	25-20	469	377	Lost 2	3-7
NY Yankees	48	44	.522	7	29-18	19-26	495	412	Won 5	8-2
Toronto	45	49	.479	11	26-19	19-30	438	437	Lost 3	4-6
Baltimore	42	52	.447	14	22-22	20-30	420	426	Lost 1	5-5
Tampa Bay	37	56	.398	18.5	22-27	15-29	442	566	Won 2	4-6

I'm not too good on Math, but the Yankees look like they've gone 27-15 since May 29th and the beloved Boston Red Sox have gone 20-23. Warrants mentioning. At this pace, the Yankees will pass the Sox in mid-September.

Looks like Michael Vick will be playing the Paul Crewe role in "The Longest Yard 2". Have fun in the Big House Mike. You're elusiveness will come in handy, when the Aryans get you.

F*ck You Lieberthal

2007-07-18T12:47:00.001-04:00

The last time the Phillies made the playoffs, the year was 1993. What a great season that was for Phils fans. They won their division and beat the Braves in the NLCS before losing to the Blue Jays on a walk-off homer by Joe Carter.

Even though the Phils lost the World Series, fans still had hope for the future. The Phillies were a hard working, exciting team full of steroid juicers. Then June 30, 1994 arrived. It is a day that will live in infamy, as former 1st round pick, 3rd overall, scrawny catcher Mike Lieberthal made his Phillies debut.

The Phightins still haven’t recovered from that day. They haven’t made the playoffs one time in this span. We thought we had a shot in May 2001(above), when Lieby tore his ACL and MCL getting picked off first base in Arizona! Fan rejoiced. Finally, this jackass would be out of baseball, and we could resume hope that our team would one day make the playoffs and win a World Series. The Phils almost won the division that season with backup ROOKIE catcher Johnny Estrada, losing by 2 games to Atlanta.

But dammit to hell if Lieberthal didn’t come back in 2002 and win comeback player of the year, leading the Phils to a 3rd place finish, 21.5 games back of Atlanta.

Now it is 2007, and this idiot is finally out of Phillies fans lives, tormenting Dodger fans. Last night was the first time the Phils have faced their nemesis. It is not a shock whatsoever that they pounded out 26 hits and 15 runs in a rout. 26 hits!!

So, from the bottom of Phillies fans’ hearts to Mike Lieberthal, go to hell you f*cking douchebag. Enjoy him, Dodger fans. Keep your fingers crossed that Russell Martin doesn’t get hurt!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes:

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- Vick is screwed. The Falcons may be better off without him anyway.

- Yi won't play for the Bucks.

- Benoit had roids and xanex in his system. Shocking.

Weekend Ballshots

2007-07-16T10:12:00.000-04:00

The Phillies achieved their 10,000th loss. Congratulations, losers.

Speaking of the Phillies, I did see a little of the Espys last night. Not that this award show matters, at all, but Devin Hester won the “Breakthru Performance” Award over Ryan Howard? What? A few kick return TDs wins over 58 HR/149 RBI/NL MVP? Man, that is gay.

David Beckham makes his debut this Saturday in MLS. And no one cares.

Dice-K’s album ‘drops’ tomorrow. It should be hot. I hope everyone pre-ordered, bc it promises to be a gigantic success, unlike his pitching career. I’d rather pick out caskets for my parents funerals than listen to this album.

A-Rod seems destined for Bean-Town. Scott Boras is talking $30-$35 mil/year once Rodriguez opts out of his Yankees contract this offseason. Sox fans are talking a mean game, saying they don’t want him, saying over their dead bodies will they accept him as a true Sock. Please. Please! Once he replaces E6 at SS next year, Sox fans will become more nauseating than ever. "A-Rawd rules, he is a true Red Sock!"

Gary Sheffield claims that Joe Torre is a racist. And that it doesn’t affect Jeter bc he is a malado. Gotta love Sheff.

ESPN/ABC has reached a deal to continue the charade of showing WNBA games thru 2016? When will this torture come to an end???

Phil Mickelson choked away a one stroke lead in the Scottish Open on the 18th hole. I guess he is just getting into patented FIGJAM form for the British Open this week.

“And if you don’t believe it’s true, just check out how we rock for you”. – T3.

Happy Birthday America

2007-07-03T13:21:00.000-04:00

America is about to celebrate its 231st birthday tomorrow, I would like to take the time to point out some wonderful things about this great country.

Our wrestling heroes don't kill their children.
If we want something in your country, we just come in and smack you around and take it. We don't even need to have other countries watch our backs.
We have so much food, we feed our pets and set fire to the homeless.
When Americans run online message boards dedicated to ESPN Page 2 personalities, those boards are fun and not boring. Guess what? Rumsfeld Resigned, you losers.
In America, we even pretend like a colored or a woman has a chance to be President.
Two words. Bum Fights.

So on this Independence Day, live like our forefathers intended... go pump some $3.25 gas into your Ford Explorer, crank up the AC, roll the 3 blocks to the nearest store while listening to Dire Straits. When you see someone you don't like, roll down the window and make fun of them...heck, throw some garbage at them. Honk at a teen girl if you wish. Cause a "scene".

God Bless Eff'n America.

NBA Draft Preview

2007-06-28T10:03:00.000-04:00

The annual NBA Draft takes place in mere hours. The fortunes of every hopeful NBA team rest of the outcome of events tonight. Rumors are swirling about a 3 team trade in which KG goes to the Suns, Amare Stoudemire goes to Atlanta, and the 3 and 11 picks end up in Minnesota. I would love to see Garnett play with Steve Nash, personally. Amare is a nice dunker, yes, but what else does he do?

As far as actual draft picks, it appears that Oden will go 1 to Portland and Durant 2 to Seattle, much to Local ESPN Idiot Bill Simmons' dismay. For my 76ers, my wish list involves trading up to nab Jeff Green. If/when that does not happen; I have decided who I want at pick 12: Nick Young of USC. He is silky smooth and would put a hop in my step. I have no idea if he plays D, but I don’t care. I am not Bill Simmons, who cries about guards who don’t play D.

Non draft thought: I’m sorry, anyone who thinks Gary Payton was better than Steve Nash, in their primes, does not know basketball. I must be forgetting the back to back MVPs that GP won with Seattle.

Ballshots:

I hear that now Benoit may have killed his son using a wrestling choke hold? Was it the crippler crossface? On his own 7 year old son. Jesus, dude.

Lindsay Lohan is banging a guy she met in rehab? That is hot.

Red Sox swept by the Mariners. Lead down to 9 games…over Toronto! Man, this is a choke-job if I’ve ever seen one.

Ryan Howard hit a 505 foot home run last night. That is pretty far.

Hey, I wish I had my way, 'Cause everyday would be a Friday, You could even speed on the highway

RIP Benoit

2007-06-26T15:06:00.001-04:00

As everyone knows by now, ‘Rabid Wolverine’ Chris Benoit and his wife and son were all found dead in their Atlanta home yesterday afternoon. It appears to be a double murder suicide with some crazy details soon to come out. Rumors swirling that he killed his wife with some sort of chord on Saturday, then rented WWE’s PPV on Sunday night. He followed the PPV viewing by smothering his son and hanging himself. Was the PPV that terrible?

I just saw him wrestle in person 2 weeks ago today. Sadly, I did not see anything like this coming. I saw him hit some hellacious german-suplexes on some unlucky black wrestler, who I had never heard of. ‘The Crippler’ was a hell of a wrestler, and an insane crazy person outside the ring apparently.

Ball-Shots

Paris Hilton released from jail, free to spread herpes and HIV to whomever she chooses.
NBA Draft on Thursday. I still say Jeff Green will be a stud.
KG to the Lakers is the talk. I have no opinion on this.
Phils 3.5 games behind the Mets. Phillies bullpen sucks and now they are down 2 starters (3 if you count Brett Myers); I don’t see them winning the division.

Boston Buys It's Team Too

2007-06-20T16:10:00.000-04:00

Boston Red Sox 2007 Salaries

PLAYER	SALARY (US$)
1. Manny Ramirez	17,016,381
2. J.D. Drew	14,400,000
3. David Ortiz	13,250,000
4. Curt Schilling	13,000,000
5. Jason Varitek	11,000,000
6. Matt Clement	9,500,000
7. Mike Lowell	9,000,000
8. Julio Lugo	8,250,000
9. Josh Beckett	6,666,667
10. Daisuke Matsuzaka	6,333,333
11. Eric Hinske	5,725,000
12. Tim Wakefield	4,000,000
13. Joel Pineiro	4,000,000
14. Coco Crisp	3,833,333
15. Julian Tavarez	3,350,000
16. Mike Timlin	2,800,000
17. Alex Cora	2,000,000
18. Wily Mo Pena	1,875,000
19. Brendan Donnelly	1,400,000
20. Hideki Okajima	1,225,000
21. Doug Mirabelli	750,000
22. Kyle Snyder	535,000
23. Jonathan Papelbon	425,500
24. Kevin Youkilis	424,500
25. Javier Lopez	402,500
26. Dustin Pedroia	380,000
Total Team Salary:	143,123,714

Manny Ramirez- BOUGHT

JD Drew - BOUGHT

Curt Schilling - ARIZONA SALARY DUMP

Matt Clement - BOUGHT

Mike Lowell - FLORIDA SALARY DUMP

Julio Lugo - BOUGHT

Dice K - BOUGHT

The Overwhelming Boston Media Influence

2007-06-14T10:56:00.001-04:00

"I've had all I can stands, and I can't stands no more"

For years, people have ranted and raved about what was a perceived "East Coast Bias" in the media regarding sports coverage. Initially, I always thought it had alot to do with the time zones across this country. Who is really going to be interested in a San Diego/Los Angeles game that starts at 10:30pm for most of the country.

(As you can see from this picture, the majority of the people in the USA live East of the Mississippi River and predominately in the Northeastern part of the country)

(In fairness, I will admit 2 things. The Yankees get a LOT of coverage. Yes, Jayson Stark tends to write about Philadelphia slightly disproportionate to the rest of his work.)

However, the Boston coverage in the "national" media is just overwhelming. Peter King, who is, from the repeated mentions of his daughter's high school career, from Montclair, NJ. Yet, by reading his weekly CNNSI.com columns, you would think his father was Paul Revere. It finally reached a head this week as he printed a verbal fellation on Monday of the New England Patriot organization during a visit to their mini-camp. This rotund coffee drinking blogger spent paragraph after paragraph fawning over everyone from Scott Pioli down to the clubhouse boys who pick up Tom Brady's jock. To make things worse, on Tuesday, he published a series of questions from readers who have finally reached their boiling point with this ninny. Here's a clue Peter....Nick Saban called and said he's staying in Miami.

But the worst culprit in this mess is ESPN and their website, ESPN.com. Aside from Peter Gammons annoying Red Sox related drivel, ESPN actually employs the former Boston Sports Guy, Bill Simmons to write a column. Simmons, in his hackneyed ways, actually made a statement that "More people are concerned about what the Celtics are going to do with the #5 pick, than the NBA finals." Guess what? We aren't. Nobody cares about Boston as much as ESPN leads people to believe. Their bandwagon fans have suddenly popped out of the woodwork the past 5-10 years as the team has decided to go on an all-out spending spree to become the Yankees North. Nobody cares about the Celtics or the Patriots or the Red Sox as much as ESPN leads us to believe. Nobody cares about Dave Roberts and "The Steal", people don't view "May 22" as a day that will live in infamy, and people are not entertained by you relating everything back to the 1986 Celtics. Simmons should do what Simmons does best, yammer on about inane reality shows to the point where he ghost writes a column about "The Bachelor" as his wife......again.

Well, gotta run. ESPN is reporting breaking news that Theo Epstein just bought a new guitar and are going to go live to Dan Shaughnessy and Bob Ryan for their take.

PICK PICKLER

Mid Week Ballshots

2007-06-13T11:12:00.001-04:00

75-72? Oh dear God. I heard a rumor that David Stern is in negotiations with Versus for exclusive coverage rights starting in 2009. Looks like we’ll be down to 2 major sports. Well, 1 ½ really.

Phils 3 games back of the Mets! Maybe this Leiberthal exorcism really will work out after all. Hamels wins his 9th. Let’s see if Ozzie can somehow get Thome into a game in this series today. Prick.

Peter King was blasted on MMQBTE for being on the Patriots payroll. So what if he wants to be Bill Simmons, Jr.? I think they are peers at this point. Both are total hacks.

Dale Jr. signed with some other race team. Moving on……

Yanks win 7th straight. Warrants mentioning.

Tony Soprano lived! Or did he? Who knows. Everyone in that diner was wearing gray though, possibly to signify a gray ending, not black and white. Dammit.

US Open this week. FIGJAM’s vag is hurting, er, his wrist.

Baseball...Still Capless....Still Retarded

2007-06-10T19:35:00.000-04:00

Joe Torre offered a simple explanation for his team's recent turnaround.

"Looseness. These guys are having fun with each other," the Yankees' manager said Sunday after New York's sluggers broke loose in a 13-6 victory over the Pirates.

Alex Rodriguez homered twice and drove in five runs, Bobby Abreu went 4-for-4 with three RBIs and the Yankees overpowered Pittsburgh for their sixth consecutive victory.

I offer an even simpler explanation.

The Yankees spend $196 million on their team, Pittsburgh spends $39 million. Eff'n Baseball, so stupid. The Pirates more than likely could beat A-Rod and Matsui (combined salaries 40 million) in a 9 on 2 type game.

Jose Mesa, welcome back. You were washed up after the 2003 season, yet the Phillies bring you back 4 years later.

Paris Hilton back in the clink.
Written before Sopranos....I think Tony survives. Just a hunch.
Losing to the Royals 17-5 is disgraceful and distasteful.

Meet the Mets, Sweep the Mets

2007-06-08T09:50:00.001-04:00

The suddenly hot Phillies rolled out of NY with a 3 game sweep of the 1st Place New York Mets. Next up for the Phillies? The Kansas City Royals and inevitably, 729 mentions of the 1980 World Series.

Sex addict Pat Burrell went deep off of the loudmouth midget Billy Wagner in the 9th to tie the game. It's surprising to me to see that this early in the season, the diminutive Wagner usually doesn't come up this small until September. 6 Finger Closer Antonio Alfonseca closed out the game for the save.

The game was not without controversy as the umpires reversed a David Wright triple into a home run based upon instant replay. Paul Lo Duca followed Wright's homerun with one of his own, but punctuated it with a ridiculous bat flip and overly demonstrative celebration following his home run. Look for someone (my bet is Freddie Garcia, graduate of the Ozzie Guillen school of paybacks) to put one in Lo Duca's earflap when the Mets come to town at the end of the month.

Other notes:

Curt Schilling came one out away from a no-hitter yesterday, I'm sure we will hear about this ad nauseum this weekend.
Paris Hilton was released from jail early, proving one thing, the warden did not want a rampant Herpes outbreak inside the prison.
Summer TV stinks.
Cavaliers drop game one to the San Antonio Spurs last night. No surprise there.
The Mighty Ducks won the Stanley Cup, in case you missed it.
Dice K's ERA is 4.63. Suddenly you don't see Bill Simmons and Peter King salivating over Hideki Irabu Jr. anymore.

Thursday Thoughts

2007-06-07T11:18:00.003-04:00

No, that's not Brian Cashman or Theo Epstein. It's American Icon Bob Barker. Bob recently taped his final episode of the Price is Right at the age of 83. While many people remember Bob's fight scene with Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore, I have fond memories of a childhood filled with game shows. While I may have loved Press Your Luck, Card Sharks, Joker's Wild, The Newlywed Game and various other Mark Goodson television productions, nothing topped the 11am CBS pure ecstasy that was The Price is Right. Some people refer to it as the TPIR but you know what, I don't want to sell the show short.

Anyway, thanks Bob, for showing me as a child how to putt, how to estimate prices for dentures and, as a man, for showing me that it doesn't matter how old you are, if you are in a position of power and a woman thinks she can advance her career, you can bang any "Barker Beauty" that you want. So to you Bob Barker, in your honor, I suggest that Tiffany Cowbell be spayed today.

Mid Week Ballshots

2007-06-06T09:57:00.002-04:00

Amanda Beard's Playboy spread gets a big Thumbs Down from this blog. Well, if the photographers main goal is to make hot girls look beat, they usually succeed admirably. This time is no exception. Anna K, please don’t pose for Playboy. Save your rep as an all-time smokin hottie.

I don’t think A-Rods bomb on Sunday night landed yet. Gaytion still in shock. Sox have dropped 3 straight.

Sopranos Thoughts. Phil is an a-hole. Great ep on Sunday though. It’s pretty funny that they are trying to wrap up all these stories by this weekend, yet they still had room for a ‘Mangenius’ cameo. That was good. Prediction for the final ep this week: Carmella will nag one final time.

The Phils are preparing to go on a tear. You are on notice, National League. The Drive to 85 (wins) began last night. Nice base-running last night by Utley and Burrell. What the hell was that???

Billy Donovan had a hell of an NBA coaching career.

Good luck to 23 and the Cavs vs the Spurs. However, Spurs in 6

Johnnie Morton gets knocked the F out (below)

--http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mniHJAQmNG8--

Cheating Li'l Devil

2007-05-30T09:35:00.000-04:00

Reading, PA: New York Yankees 3rd Baseman Alex Rodriguez was seen in Reading Pennsylvania Sunday night with a blond woman, who is not his wife! They reportedly dined at a pricey steakhouse before heading to the glitzy strip club Al’s Diamond Cabaret. Following this, the two were spotted making their way to his hotel and getting into the elevator together.

There is no word on the identity of the blond woman, although word in Reading is that several canoes have turned up destroyed since the two were seen gallivanting about town together. “That’s his business,” stated teammate Derek Jeter, when asked about Rodriguez’s gal pal. “The canoes….who knows? I heard something about a crazy boyfriend, but it’s irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that A-Rod is evil. He burns orphanages and cheats on his wife! Do you realize that we are like 15 games behind Boston? It's no coincidence.”

Calls to Rodriguez and his wife were not returned.

Ballshots:

- Get well soon wishes go out to Larry Hughes from Piston fans everywhere.

- Are the football gods smiting the Patriots for not sticking to ‘The Patriot Way’?

- Mike Vick: Bad QB and Bad Fight Promoter

- ESPN Breaking News: Roger Clemens had Cheerios for breakfast.

- Geoff Geary should enter games with a pre-installed batting practice net in front of the mound. How is he in Quadruple A again?

Thanks Internet Geeks

2007-05-25T11:47:00.000-04:00

Well, Wednesday night marked the end of the third season of LOST. The final scene was labelled as a "game changer" by the producers of the show. The scene showed Kate and Jack, reuniting in present day Los Angeles. Jack's now apparently down on his luck and popping pills, all because of the tragic mistake he apparently made. He begs Kate to help him go back to the Island as she pulls away.

You know what? SCREW THIS SHOW. When it first debuted, it eventually grew to over 20 million viewers and was extremely popular. The show was an action show with some elements of drama and sci-fi. People loved the show. Let's review something about the show.

Season 1 Cliffhanger...Kate and Locke and whoever else open up the mysterious hatch! Oh my, what could happen now!

Season 2 Cliffhanger...Locke didn't let them put in the numbers, Desmond turned the key, the hatch blew up and Penny's people are now able to locate the island! Oh my, what could happen now!

Season 3 Cliffhanger...Jack contacts Naomi's boat against the protests of both Ben and Locke, and we "flash forward" to present day LA where Jack's life is in shambles! Oh my, what could happen now!

Does anyone truly think that Jack, the hero of the show, being a scumbag who Kate hates is how this show is going to end? NO. Much like the all important Hatch (which blew up with no apparent consequences) and the all important Search Party (which never found the island or showed up again) this is just another stupid water cooler moment trying to desperately generate buzz for a show which crashed worse than Bill Simmons dreams of Kevin Durant in a Celtics uniform.

I blame the internet message board geeks for this. I want to watch a show and enjoy it. I don't want to have to search for frozen screen caps to see who's name is in the obituary. I don't want to have to look on phony websites to find out about the Hanso Foundation. I want to sit on my couch and watch a TV show. Look, when you have to have countless flashback shows and finally, a show called "Lost: The Answers" with your show's creators it means one thing...you have completely lost control of the show and have so many plot holes, you've confused everyone. The producers of this show? They have no plan, no clue. Mess with Walt's voice a little bit, so we don't realize in 90 days he's suddenly gone from a little kid to Antonio Gates. Shoot Locke or the Russian guy AGAIN but have them not die.

But hey, don't believe me, waste your time listening to their weekly podcast or listen to Preston and Steve.

WAAAAAAAAAAH!

2007-05-23T13:38:00.001-04:00

David Stern to ESPN uber-blogger Bill Simmons: "Suck on that, b*tch. See you in the lottery next year."

In a downright stunning turn of events, America's City Boston was actually screwed out of a top 2 pick in the 2007 NBA Lottery last night, landing the dreaded 5th pick! No one saw this coming. Not even yours truly. But more elated I could not be. I don't think I could have taken yet another dominant team from Boston. My hat is off to you, David Stern. You did well.

Now all America has to do is patiently wait for one Bill Simmons to pump out a whiny blog post of his own. I'm sure that baby is going to be up on espn.com any minute now.

Congrats to Portland and Seattle.

Go Pistons.

Rivalry Week!

2007-05-22T11:00:00.000-04:00

It’s Rivalry Week on ESPN. That’s right, people. Hope you’re ready for all the great head to head matchups across Major League Baseball! Imagine the possibilities……..Dodgers/Giants? Cards/Cubs? White Sox/Indians? Braves/Mets? A’s/Angels? Man oh man, what a week this is for baseball! I can barely control my excitement!

Wait, none of those matchups are on, you say? To review, Sunday Night Baseball had the Yankees vs. Mets. Monday night it was the Nation’s team, the Red Sox, at the Yankees (again). Surely Wednesday Night Baseball will have some variety. ESPN and MLB just love to promote divisional games. Maybe they’ll show Phillies at Marlins. Sure. Upon further review, it’s……drumroll………Red Sox at Yankees! Again!! I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if ESPN dusted off Berman for this epic clash. Way to promote other teams, MLB. This is the same reason WCW folded. Idiots.

Ballshots:

- NBA Lottery tonight. Have fun with the #2 pick, Celtics. I hope you dominate the NBA like the Sox and Patriots dominate their sports. That would be fun for America. No, really. It would be.

- Can someone wake up the Detroit crowd please? Let them know their team is in the Conference Finals. Thanks.

- Another A-Bomb for A-Rod!!!

- Phillies at .500. They’ve gone on a mini run since radio loser Howard Eskin pretended he wanted to fight Chollie Manuel.

- Hey Yanks, how is Abreu treatin ya? I heard Francesa question whether Abreu had a pulse the other day. I often wondered the same thing when he was in Philly.

- Just a thought. If I worked for an NFL team, I don’t think it would be the best idea in the world to send a porn email to Rodger Goodell.

- Tony Soprano doesn’t give a F*ck anymore. It’s tremendous.

Quick Musings

2007-05-21T10:20:00.000-04:00

AJ Soprano is such a loser. I wish Tony would stomp on his head.
Just in case you didn't know...Sox vs. Yankees tonight on ESPN!!!! It's so rare to see these two teams on national TV.
Memorial Day weekend is coming up, or so I've heard. I'll be exhausted and covered in poo, much like Memorial Day 2001.
SOTSG continues be the leading cure for Insomnia.
Phillies are starting to win, despite Chollie Manual's efforts to thwart them. If Ryan Howard can come back and play like he did last year. Look out Mets and your woeful pitching staff.
NBA Lottery tomorrow, if there is a just God in heaven, the Celtics will get the 3rd pick just so William Simmons has a heart attack.
Could LOST get any more bizarre? This show has plot holes Jerome Bettis could fit through. I'm disappointed that I ever got involved with that show.

'DICEMANIA' Runnin' Wild!

2007-05-16T11:35:00.000-04:00

Blog post by the great MoreCowbell:

As you may or may not have noticed, Daisuke Matsuzaka (Dice-Gay to the loyal readers of this blog) has had back-to-back excellent starts, lowering his ERA from 5.45 to 4.17. The reason for his recent success? Matsuzaka credits this very blog! "I read on computer that man say I am failure," Matsuzaka said in a recent press conference. "He say I am bad and also I think he call me gay. I make it my mission to prove this bad man wrong." Boston fans everywhere would like to thank this blog for making it all possible.

Random shots:

* The NBA's great. Turns out, you can kick guys in the nuts, but walking a few feet from your bench is strictly prohibited. And don't even think about laughing and clapping! I love this game!

*The Phillies have won 2 in a row, against the team with best record in the NL. A comeback from 4 down in the 8th inning? A walkoff homerun from Carlos Ruiz? What is going on here? Don't worry, they'll lose their next 3.

*Collie finally loses in the Inferno last night. The world rejoices. Seriously, does that girl's voice sound like a retarded monkey with a cold to anyone else?

*Tonight's new episode of Lost will probably disappoint, unless they finally decide enough is enough and kill off that hobbit.

*Whatever happened to Barbaro? Oh yeah, that's right.

*In religious wacko news, Jerry Falwell died yesterday. So, fags and liberals were to blame for 9/11? The Antichrist is probably some Jew? Good riddance buddy, hope it's not too hot for you down there.

*And finally, as a new batch of college grads are entering this "real world" this month, I would like to welcome you all. Guess what? There is nothing exciting about working an 8-5. Paying bills sucks. You will slowly realize you can't get obliterated 4-5 days a week. Hell, even once is pushing it. Skipping work with the same frequency that you skipped class will get you fired. And sitting in your cube all day while it is 80 degrees outside is the BOMB! Like I said, welcome. On the plus side, you will finally be able to afford better beer than Natty Lite.

"I'm So Done With......"

2007-05-10T11:10:00.000-04:00

Time for a rousing Thursday edition of "I'm So Done With..." So without further ado:
-I’m so done with Peter King. [bad] Football column and coffee reviews are your thing. Drop the lame Bill Simmons “I must let the world know of my Red Sox allegiance, A-Rod and Clemens hate” impersonation. We get it.

-I’m so done with everyone taking the ‘holier than thou’ attitude on Barry Bonds. Why does it ‘offend’ people that he is going to break Aaron’s record? Who cares? It’s not their record! And who’s to say Aaron never took roids? Didn’t he play 30 seasons or something?

-I’m so done with people taking the stall next to me while I’m trying to drop a D in peace. What are these guys, gay? Some bizarre fetish I’m unaware of?

-I’m so done with Dick Stockton. He is brutal. Can TNT get Harlan or Marv on the Utah/Golden State series already?

-I’m so done with Meadow Soprano. Why is she living at home? Shouldn’t she be out saving the world? She is useless. Same with Claire on LOST. She is even more useless than Meadow.

-I’m so done with 4-Letter “Breaking News” being Red Sox or Yankee related like 50% of the time. Who freakin cares if Carl Pavano goes on the DL??????? So what if Manny Ramirez shot hoops in his driveway???

-I’m so done with Philly media covering McNabb/Eagles 24/7. Jesus.

-I’m so done with Wes Helms. How is he starting again? He is the worst fielding 3B I’ve ever seen. Oh well, at least he cant hit either.

-I’m so done with Bill Simmons. I see Ewing Theory potential for espn.com if he leaves and Jemele Hill takes over his slot.

-I'm so done with one dimensional blogs. That said,........

-I’m so done with Dice-K. Didn’t think Id leave him out, did you? No reasons today. I’m just done with him.

As always, if any of my loyal readers have any suggestions, feel free to send them along. Have a dynamite Thursday.

Weekend in Review

2007-05-07T09:03:00.000-04:00

With my esteemed colleague on a much needed vacation today, I thought I would fill in for him with a weekend update.

The biggest sports news of the weekend was, in a speech nearly as dramatic at Lou Gehrig's farewell to the Yankees, The Rocket announced his return to the beloved Bronx Bombers. Once again, the bumbling Sox could only look on in horror, as the Roger Clemens once again spurned them to go to the Yankees.

Reports have surfaced that Stephen King already had penned a novel about the story book return and subsequent World Series title that the Prodigal Son could have brought to Beantown. Instead, the Red Sox Nation will continue to be forced to watch the $100 Million Bust, Dice-K, continue to pull a Vito Jr. and drop a deuce on the hill every 5th day. The big question for Sox fans, is, if you eat a Japanese Turd Sandwich are you hungry again an hour later?

Weekend observations

Duane Kuiper and Mark Grace ripped Philly fans for being overly critical of Chollie Manual. Apparently they live in a cave.

The Derby went off without Barbaro....God needed a thoroughbred.

Paris Hilton is off to jail. Good riddance.

Tom Brady was seen last week wearing a Yankees cap. The Red Sox nation nearly had a collective heart attack.

Sportsguy did a running diary of Dice-K's debut vs. The Royals. Haven't seen one since. I guess 5-6 ER in 5-6 innings doesn't make for exciting copy.

Saw "highlights" of Kevin Kolb. Rolling out left and right in a run and shoot offense playing against low end Division I schools does not a future quarterback make.

Nation In Shock

2007-05-04T12:23:00.000-04:00

I just don't even know what to say anymore. Dice-K continues to disappoint the legions of hopeful Red Sox fans, America, Japan, and the Universe. He threw in YET ANOTHER clunker last night vs. Seattle, getting lit up for 7 runs in 5 innings, fanning only ONE batter.

"Look, I already told you this," declared a clearly exasperated Terry Francona. "The guy sucks. It doesn't matter though. We still have the best record in baseball. Its all me. I'm a hall of fame manager."

Red Sox Nation has already made contingency plans if Dice continues getting batted around. "I ordered my Clemens jersey this morning," said dejected Sox fan Stephen King. "Matsuzaka is like a character straight out of one my best selling horror novels. If I created him in a book though, it would be too unbelievable. No one would buy it. Unfortunately, we are seeing for ourselves how frighteningly bad he is."

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Ballshots:

Derby Pick: 16, 7, 15, 20
McNabb is still as big a b*tch as ever. My inside sources tell me he is sulking around the Eagles complex. Loser.
Alycia Lane is quite a sneaky vixen. I know she is a dedicated reader of my blog. Any time you want to email me some slutty pics, go for it babe.
Charlie Manuel is dynamite. Brett Myers at the back of the pen was a stroke of genius.
Golden State has the best fans in the world. Bill Simmons says so, and he would know. He is one of them.

The Stupid Little Man with the Junkie Sons

2007-05-02T11:53:00.000-04:00

It's been pretty well established that I am the big McNabb fan and the Anti-Andy Reid guy, whilest BSMB slobs the knob of the rotund head coach and displays complete racism towards Donovan McNabb.

I've let my anger simmer since Saturday, and with a clear head I can rationally discuss the Eagles pick of Kevin Kolb.

Let's assume, for a minute, that Kolb turns out to be a nice starting QB in the league. I'm not even bashing him as a player. Donovan McNabb has led this team to 4 NFC Championship games, 1 Super Bowl, and multi Pro Bowl appearances. I think it is fair to say, that if you told Al Davis that Jamarcus Russell would have the identical career as McNabb has had, he'd take it in a minute. Let's keep this in mind, that Kevin Kolb isn't replacing Josh McKown or Dave Brown or any of 100 forgettable QBs in this league. McNabb is clearly a franchise quarterback and anyone who says otherwise has had their brain fried by excessive hair care products.

We all know that McNabb is injury prone and he is 30 years old. We all know the Eagles will not take a cap hit by releasing him or trading him. The Eagles decided that their roster that they assembled at the end of last season, was good enough for this year. Let's recap, they won 10 games and lost to New Orleans in the playoffs. They lost Donte Stallworth, Michael Lewis, Jeff Garcia and Darwin Walker and replaced them in theory with Monte Reagor, Takeo Spikes and Kevin Curtis. In my opinion, the Eagles have not dramatically improved their team to the point where, like the 12-14 Phillies, they are the team to beat in the NFC. They use their first draft pick on a guy, who will not be ready to be their starting QB next season. In addition, they have now told their franchise Superstar QB, who is busy rehabbing his ACL, to not let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. This isn't a case of drafting Mike Patterson and releasing Corey Simon. This is clearly...we don't care about now, we are building for the future, because we want to continue to manage the cap and once again be the Gold Standard for the NFL.

Just a typical gutless conservative financially prudent move, by the gutless conservative Andy Reid. At least when Andy Reid gave up on the hopes of winning a Super Bowl in the 2006 season, it was in the waning moments of a playoff game when he waved the white flag and meekly punted rather than go for it on 4th down. Andy Reid has given up on the 2007 Season already. But hey, we are set up for 3 years from now under the cap.

Go Patriots, Eff the Eagles

2007-04-30T12:39:00.000-04:00

Draft Recap: I hate when people give out draft grades one day after drafts, so naturally I am giving my draft grade on a couple teams.

Eagles: A-. When every single fan of a team is ready to jump off a bridge or torch the stadium, you know you've done something right. The Birds drafted their QB of the future. I've always said that Andy can be successful with almost any QB unless he is a total stiff. This guy appears to not just be any QB either. His strengths are accuracy, quick release, mobility, intelligence. Sign me up. It would be nice to have a QB who can deliver the ball on target and can maybe read a defense. Also, I love the pick of Tony Hunt. For my money, he is the second best RB in the draft behind Adrian Peterson.

Actually, the Eagles are the only team to get a grade from me.

New England is nuts. That loss to Indy pissed off Unabomber Bill more than anyone realized. They legitimately could be 16-0 this year. Although, this crazy philosophy never benefited Washington, so we'll see.

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Ballshots:

- How hysterical was the Brady Quinn drop? Nice beard, Quinn. We all still know you're gay.

- Dice-Gay continues to flail along, getting batted around for 6 pathetic innings Friday against the basement dwelling Bronx Bombers.

- Happy belated birthday to my man, Barbaro.

- Nice effort by the defending champion Miami Heat.

NFL Draft

2007-04-27T10:22:00.000-04:00

The NFL Draft begins Saturday at noon on ESPN. As Ted Danson would say on 'Curb', "It's Heaven." No matter what the Raiders do with the first pick, it is unlikely to top the hilarity of the opening of last years edition, with Mario Williams going #1 overall to Houston. In fact, CBS was so impressed with Houston GM Charlie Casserly's work, they hired him to fill a dual role. He is both their 'NFL Insider' on the NFL Pregame Show and the head writer on 'Two and a Half Men.'

Word in Oakland has the Raiders deciding between LSU QB Jamarcus Russell and Georgia Tech WR Calvin Johnson, who is this year's cant-miss product, allegedly. With Al Davis involved, you just never know.

As far as the Eagles are concerned, most experts have them taking a defensive back. They do need help in the secondary. But since the experts all seem to believe they are going DB, you just know they aren't going to do that. Personally, I want them to take Dwayne Jarrett, WR of USC. I highly doubt they would do that, either. I predict them to trade down to obtain some more picks.

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Ballshots:

- 'The Office' was phenomenal on Thursday

- I feel ripped off only getting one Boston/NYY game this weekend. Why would ESPN show the Cubs/Cardinals on SNB? They can say that's a great rivalry all they want, but you know they are lying and it kills them to not show the Sox/Yanks game.

- Sure Curt, sure.

- Tony Hunt of PSU will be a very good pro RB.

- Can't wait for Kiper to drop knowledge all weekend. I love that guy.

- To prove that Peter King's idiocy is not a new phenomenon, check out this slop from the 1999 draft. Specifically the Cade McNown and Ricky Williams stuff:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/inside_game/peter_king/news/1999/04/18/king_qb_insider/

Jeff Lurie Sucks

2007-04-26T12:14:00.000-04:00

Phila: The Eagles unveiled plans for a throw-back jersey that they intend to wear this season for one game. Since teams have been using throw-back jerseys over the past few years, many Eagles fans had been hoping that our team would dress in throw-backs to the Buddy Ryan years. Now, no one actually expected the Eagles to don the Randall Cunningham era Kelley green jerseys. God forbid the team do anything whatsoever that the fans would be excited about.

No, the jersey that Eagles brass have settled on is, get this, are you ready..........the 1933 baby blue and yellow!(hideous unis above left) What the H? Is there one remaining fan from that era? Of course not. As long as the jersey sells, which it will (its the same color scheme as the Chris Berman labeled "Best Uniforms in Sports" San Diego Charger unis), and it pisses Eagles fans off, it will be a huge success in Jeff Lurie's(douche in middle of pic) world. What a d*ck.
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Notes:

- Brian Leonard is the new buzzword in Philly. As if one Eagles fan has seen him play. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, he backed up Ray Rice. Ok then.
- Phillies on a 5 game tear! Look out NL East.
- Red Sox still suck. 13-7 overall. Pathetic.

Weekend Ballshots

2007-04-23T12:43:00.000-04:00

- Did the Yankees play the Red Sox this weekend? I didn't see anything about it unless I had my eyes opened.

- Dice K: Its sweet that he can throw 9 different pitches. Too bad Americans can hit all of them.

- Solid work by Fenway giving Dice a standing-O after 6 ER thru 7 innings. Weak. Low standards in Beantown these days?

- Now that the weekend is over, I guess the Four-Letter can move on to something other than the Yanks/Sox. Like tonight, they are slumming it with the D Rays......vs the Yanks! YES!

- Go Iverson. Prove your Philly haters wrong!

- Hilarious VM by Alec Baldwin to that thoughtless little pig of a daughter of his.

- Peter King is a loser. Although, that was not a new revelation this weekend.

- Paris Hilton's phone # is 310-801-0148. enjoy

- Phillies on a 2 game win streak. You Gotta Believe.

- Paulie Walnuts is a blabbering moron.

Batman and Robin...Starsky and Hutch.....Ledger and Gyllenhaal

2007-04-20T13:25:00.002-04:00

It's the triumphant return.....reunited and it feels so good!

Anyway, Yanks vs Red Sox this weekend!!! Oh feel the excitement. The $195 million dollar "Evil Empire" takes on the $142 million dollar "America's Team".

I'm sure all the Bostonites are on the edge of their seat for these games. Are they blacked out locally? Oh no, wait...ESPN (aka Boston Sports Network) is covering the games in glorious HD on Friday and Sunday (HD....check out Gay-Rod's Blue Lips! Go Sox!!!!). FOX steps in for the coverage on Saturday.

Attention FOX and ESPN. there are roughly at last count 28 other teams that maybe should get 1/28th of the coverage you provide the two best teams money can buy. But no, let's get more breaking news on Carl Pavano going on the DL.

Buenos Dias to all my Latin Readers.

The Nightmare Continues

2007-04-18T10:41:00.000-04:00

Toronto: The $103 Million investment in Japanese gyro-ball flame thrower Dice-K continues to be a complete and utter failure. Dice got lit up and knocked around for 6 innings by the Blue Jays en route to his second straight loss. This loss included Dice losing composure and walking in the winning run!

"Who even cares that he stinks?," asked the uncaring part owner Larry Lucchino. "This is just a write-off for us. $103 Million only sounds like a lot of money.......if you are the Royals or Pirates! Haha. No, really, we only signed him to get a foot into Asia. It should help in future negotiations with other Asian players. Hopefully one of them will actually have talent."

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This And That:

- The Phils are 3-9. Time to fire Manuel, I think. He even tried to fight local media blow-hard Howard Eskin after the game. Maybe he could beat Eskin's ass before he gets canned, though. Do us all a favor.
- Nice touch by DC wearing the Virginia Tech hats
- Why would the Lions not take a QB in this draft? What am I missing here? Joe Thomas?
- Homegirls, for once, forget ya got class....see a guy ya like, just grab him in the biscuits

Good Prevails Over Evil

2007-04-12T09:59:00.001-04:00

Boston: In the most highly anticipated regular season baseball game in history that didn't involve both the Red Sox and Yankees, the little old Seattle Mariners came into Fenway and completely embarrassed America's team in the home debut of Dice-K. Some guy named Felix Hernandez threw a one-hitter over the beloved Sox. Was Hernandez unaware that the Mariners were supposed to be filling the Washington Generals role to the Red Sox Globetrotters?

Onto Dice-K. This performance can only be categorized as a cataclysmic failure. The $103 million man struck out only 4 batters en route to this flat out embarrassment. "Dice let down the Nation, America, and the World with his performance tonight," stated a dejected Red Sox GM Theo Epstein. "I don't really know what we can do about this, but luckily for us, we have an open checkbook and can buy whoever we want. We've been eyeing up Santana of the Twins for quite some time. Word is he is not going to re-sign in crappy Minnesota, and who can blame him? You know what; the guy who shut down the Sox Machine tonight might also look good in Fenway."

Notes:
Tom Brady was spotted at the Sox game holding hands with Bill Belichick.
The Phillies won, finally.
Sixers beat the Celtics, I do't know what the hell the Sixers are thinking. They win like every game. Enough with that.

Dice-Gay Home Debut

2007-04-11T14:15:00.001-04:00

It's April 11, 2007.

You'll never guess which MLB game ESPN decided to show tonight. That's right! It's the home debut of the Samurai Savior to Red Sox Gaytion, Dice-K!!! ESPN would never dare deprive its viewers from seeing this magical event. Dice is not only here to save the Sox fans, he is here to save America. If he strikes out fewer than 15 batters, I would say it's a failure.

And what a clever nickname by the way. It's not a rip of one of the all time great comics Andrew Dice-Clay, is it? Hmmmmm.

Go Mariners.